But Is Your Mom A Lesbian???

A friend of mine (shakira) asked me and my horse (handsome) to help her younger horse through the creek (sometimes horses need a friend, being a herding type) so we walked down with them. She is an instructor at the barn and is teaching a summer camp.

A seperated mother showed up on her child's first day of camp because she had the riding clothes, although the father had the child for the weekend. The father showed up at the same time and bolted out of the barn.

It got sorted out and the little 6 year old got to be at camp, but Shakira was really upset about it. She has 3 children with her first husband so it's hard for her to understand...

Shakira: "She (the child) never smiles or laughs or has fun and she's only 6. Her mom tells me she is seeing a psychologist."

Me: "I had to see a psychologist when my parents where divorcing. I was 8 I think, maybe ten. I hated it. Went every time protesting, and when the person tried to talk to me I wouldn't say a thing, not a thing, just stare at the wall. I wouldn't see a therapist again until I was 24, and glad I did. But at that age, I think it's confusing and useless... Or I got a shitty therapist or they are better now with kids."

Shakira: "Yea, but she's just a kid, couldn't she just have fun at the barn when she doesn't have to think about that stuff?"

Me: "No, doesn't work that way when you are a kid. I would hide, not talk to anyone for days, because I was so upset. Either about my parents or about the therapist, or about... Doesn't matter what they buy you or what other stranger they bring into your life. Hopefully she'll turn it around or something will happen and she will become the happy-go-lucky, party starter woman that I am..." (giggles and all)

Shakira: "But is your mom a lesbian too?"

I Tried - Vernetta OUT!!!!

Who Knows More Dead People Than Uncle Al???

Hectic Day...

Running, road 2 horses, and the inaugural party of my best work friend, Ms Sorop, she became the new president. I was to be at her house between 1 and 1:30 to surprise her before we headed over...

Crazy hectic with traffic, finding flowers, getting gas, etc etc, but made it on time and we headed over.

I've become part of the family over the years and luckily knew all the people at her house. Family of some kind. They are all so very nice to me and treat me like a long lost cousin. I love it...

So when we got to the home hosting the par-tay, I decided to sit next to Uncle Al for the entire shin-dig because he is always very entertaining and shares my sense of humor. Not to mention he's a riot when he drinks, and as someone who doesn't drink when driving, I was going dry and needed someone to tease/insult that wouldn't mind :)

I was happy with this choice because shortly there after I found out the owner of the company Ms. Sorop and I work for was coming. Of course she sat across from me at Uncle Al's table. Luckily Ms. Sorop is my friend for a reason and kicks her husband out of the seat at the head of the table and sits with me and the "boss".

Uncle Al and I where on a roll. We banter really well, and the boss lady was laughing and joining in... I realize this doesn't seem like a big deal, but she used to be a nun. This fact, that she was a nun, really trips me out no matter how cool she seems to be... I mean, a NUN!!?? I'm not talking one of those fake nuns, I'm talking the kind that wears the thing and slaps you on the hand with a ruler.

All is going well when Uncle Al brings up that Spelling died. OK, not so bad to hear about, but sad to hear... Then Ms. Ramzy died too. That sucks and brings on a whole nother line of convo about whether she whispered "I did it" before croaking or if she's shovelin' coal or with the daughter plotting to off the living killer.

Uncle Al's back in!!!! I got worried there for a second, but he's good! Next Margarita is a different story...

I have never in my life sat with someone at a party and had every story relate to a dead person. Or at least one where I couldn't walk away either...

And Please, don't forget the Ex nun is there... Normally I would crack a joke to lighten him up, or at least the rest of us, but how can I???? There's not only my boss that would think I'm a heartless bitch, but an EX NUN... I don't want her to fire me because I'm a heartless bitch that's going to hell, let alone my bigger concern, DAMIN' ME TO HELL.

So I say nothing, just try to make light of the situation or change the subject when I can...

Talking about Sea World - Uncle Al took a bunch of kids before his wife died.
Talking about Dodger Day - Uncle Al took some kids and one died the next day.
Talking about ??? - Uncle Al remembers the date because his brother died the day after.

Sorry, No Time For Cake... Uncle Al, "when I worked at the mortuary..."

I'm out...

Spiders and Coyotes and Tech Support, OH NO!!!

I'm going to start having nightmares...



NUMBER ONE
Killed my third one in 5 days. One outside the garage, in the garden and two in the garage. Don't like it...

NUMBER TWO
Besides the one that followed Jo'Burg out of the creek only to nearly have his jaws around my Jezebel before Jo'Burg saved her, we got stalked running the trail last weekend.

Yes, I saw the two of them out of the corner of my eye and leashed the dogs quickly. Then they saw us and stopped. When I started running with the leashed pair again, they started following. The nerve of those preditors. I ran at them, they stood their ground. I screamed, they stood their ground. I threw rocks, they stood their ground. In the end I decided to just keep running and they started following. WTF? I - we ran faster, they ran faster. If there weren't two of them I would have sent Jo'Burg after them, but don't feel like risking it (he's too heavy to carry)... They stopped short of the fields, but were still there when I looped back - BASTARDS!!!!

And Lastly...



Hoping I won't have nightmares about Mr. TS, but happy dreams. MT asked yesterday if he was flirting with me. Wasn't sure then, but if I saw her today I was going to tell her "YES!!!" Still trying to fix that problem at work and wondering if he's not fixing it on purpose, but yet don't really mind (kinda looking forward to the fact) that I have to call him again in the morning.

email convo after he played a joke on me:

My email to Him: "Mom... some little boy keeps pulling my pigtails..."

TS email: "It's because he likes you dear. Just kick him in the groin to tell him you like him back. LOL ;P"

Me: "How did that feel"

TS: "It hurts so good"

I love this banter, now if I could only find someone to banter with me in the same, lets say, state... He's in Penn...

What is wrong with me?????

Can I really Love Tech Support????

I've been trying to get something to run at work.

Because it is a hot issue to replace a server, when I ran into issues, I called the Tech Support immediately. Especially since my co-worker is leaving on vacation tomorrow (half day, could translate to 8 am for him) for 2 weeks. Not going to happen, I'm going to be earning my pay this next two weeks, for sure.

But I degress... Back to calling support. I've been talking to this guy on the phone for hours on end for the last few days. I have gotten so comfortable talking to the guy that I told him I had to go to the "little girls room" and his response - "GO". I love that...

YES - I googled him. Found his blog. It's boring/lame. 2 entries about computer shit. Need I say more?

So today he tells me he has 2 jobs because of his "STBX". I tell him I hate acronyms while I google it and come up with all this Gay and Black shit. WORRIED!!!

"WORRIED" because of what we might have joked around about. Did I put foot in mouth? How do I talk to this guy? Maybe he's a woman with a deep voice? I don't know. YES, we've been joking around a lot.

Didn't have time to figure out the acronym, but knowing it was about marriage and divorce, two things I have no experience with, I asked my friends at the barn. No Clue. Here's what I came up with - STBX - Salary To Bitch Ex. I think he'll find it funny, but I think I'll tell him in person (in person = over the phone, not in an email). Remember what "in person" used to mean? Not no more...

Blue was awesome today, I sucked. I'm so lucky I can screw with him so much and he's still the best pony I've ever owned. I need to post a photo of us, but all I have is of last year. I'll get a good one from Pebble end of July. The LAEC photos aren't of the last, formal, day...

I leave you with this:

**TS = Tech Support

TS - "I really have to get out of here and get to my other job so can we work on this in the morning?"

Me - "Works for me. I really have to get going too for my lesson riding the big boy"

I can't even describe the background sounds on the phone...

See Your Name In Russian

Try it, it's fun :)

TryMe

Who Did This and How???

Went to bed early last night so was up on time....
Had a call from a friend and worked it out that I get to go to Pebble Beach for a horse show end of July. Super excited.
Busy at work, which is better for me than bored.
Started the chicken salad for the party Saturday (better if it sits over night).

Saw my new roomates and thought I'd foto them before my shower so I snuck thru the garage side door... (picture fuzzy, don't have time to fix)



Sneaking back, after they "moved out", I noticed this on the water heater in my garage:



Ok, I'm good with that, WILL-NOT-DO!!!

But what's with this, don't want to do this one, even if I could...



How do I get a job to make these stickers???

TEAM MAXIME

Maxime, a neighbor of my brother's and his wife needs our help.

Maxime is fighting for his life.

He was diagnosed with brain and spinal cord cancer and has been fighting it for at least a year that I know of, probably longer. I played with him quite a bit as he grew up with Morgan, my niece...

Dora Wagner (my sister-in-law) is going to be walking as part of his team at the Lance Armstrong LiveStrong - Orange County, on her birfday, June 25th. She said that she asked Lance to change the date :) but walking/running/riding for Maxime was more important than celebrating.

If anyone out there is interested in meeting this little fighter, please visit: Team Maxime

If so inclined, select Dora Wagner (or any of the team members for that matter) and give some cashola to a really great little kid...

Rancho Santa Marguerite's Finest

First this on the way home from work...



Wonder what he was looking at when he hit it????









Then after riding, on the same road, gnarly accident with motorbike and a side of a car. Couldn't take a photo, too much traffic, but the bike obviously rammed the side of the car... Wonder which one ran the yellow? I know which one got hurt the most...


Loose rendition of conversation yesterday that lead to a note to self:

Sister-in-law: "have you seen some of the people around here, scruffy"
Me: "Seriously feel better about myself, but why can't I find a man if these chicks have one?"
SIL: "Maybe you are too picky"
Me: "A friend is trying to set me up with someone and I told her he was too short. You think I'm picky?"

SIL says she's setting me up on Match or eharmony or something and I'm scared...

Many Stories From Sin City But...

I'd rather type about how lame I am feeling...

As you've read or know, I've never been married, or 'officially' engaged. For a lot of reasons but I like to tell people who ask that I'm 'picky'. Maybe I should change that to 'lucky', because they guys that either wanted to ask me or tried to ask me were (where? See 100 things about myself #9) NOT the ones. I'd so be divorced at least once.

One of the nicest things my Uncle Pete said to me this weekend when talking about his daughter and her single status, "at least you've had relationships and have practically been married". Which is true...

Well, through the years as I've met and split from the men I've 'loved' there has been a Swede I met on my European tours, after graduating from Santa Cruz, that has always wanted to be with me... Ulf.

Yes, after R.M. broke it off and I realized I can't do the work boyfriend thing I finally got a hold of Ulf. Which makes me think it was meant to happen because I was trying to get a hold of him for a while and I couldn't and he didn't send me any flowers for my birthday like he always did, etc, etc. So I figured he got married or something.

Well, he didn't and I tried the number I got from him one last time and he answered. He really wants to see me, wants me to meet him in Sweden. The airfare is 1500 bucks right now, so think not. I sent him a couple of photos of me because, although I'm told I haven't aged much, I am not 21 anymore, that's for sure. He called me this morning to say he got the photos and to call him back. He's so crazy, my phone bill is going to be HUGE!!! I hated the calling Canada, now Sweden. Suppose I should try harder to pick it up when he phones. See how that works out.

Have a lot to tell everyone about Ulf because it's been so many years. But to keep boredom at bay but yet give a beginning, I wrote a poem in Feb, 92:

A Swedish Man...

A Swedish Man stole my heart...
We met at "A Shot In The Dark"
Lagos, the summer of 1990
Who would have guessed, that would be the mark.

A Swedish Man stole my heart...
I had no idea at the time
But when I saw him at the train station,
I knew it was him at the drop of a dime.

A Swedish Man stole my heart...
The train ride to Barcelona was a blast
I'll never forget him sittin there
All I could hop for was that it would last.

A Swedish Man stole my heart...
There are two special places for me
One is in Portugal, the other in Spain
But there is one more I have to see.

Eventhough he is so far from here
The man in my heart still shows
That no matter how much time passes
He will always be my Axel Rose.

YES - I just read it again. I'm not a poet, haven't had any classes, but enjoy poetry and have a book of rhyming words (no longer feeling I can call it poetry).

But that's it, that's Ulfie. I met him in Portugal. He was with a bunch of his Swedish friends at that pub partying it up. Did anyone see that movie "The Beach" with Leo D-Cap? The Swedes in that movie remind me of him and his friends (without the shark :) They were (#9) on vacation and Ulfie was on the table dancing, with a bandana around his head, on the table.

We had a ton of fun, but my boyfriend was back in Vienna and I was traveling with his best friend (because he hooked up with my best friend and travel mate) so I was being a good girl.

Not navigating the trip from Lagos to Barcelona correctly, I got really stressed out. The map looked like the ferry dropped you off at the train station. Not so much. Had to take a taxi to the train. To save on costs a bunch of us (not the Swedes) piled into a taxi to share the cost. I got stuck next to the driver and I think he would have gave us the ride for free if I'd... But... yukky...

Make it to Madrid and across the train station is Ulf, Ulf and Bjorn. I've never been so happy to arrive some place sticky and tired. We all got on the same train to Madrid and played games and drank and had a blast. So then, in Barcelona, we had a few days but they only had one. So we went out to dinner together and partied. It was so hot and muggy. I had no idea, but I'm standing in the door way (with everyone there saying goodbyes) and Ulfy grabs my face and gives me this huge kiss.

Then he was gone...

I think about it now and it seems so romantic. Back then my memory says "sticky, hot, don't touch me".

Can Men Ever Win With Me???? I hope so...

Back From Sin City...

Tried to Blog this the other day, but had issues as many other bloggers...

Here it is:

I give you this from hitting my lame reality (the O.C.)

Work friend's important party that I R.S.V.P.'d to tonight...

Hostest: "you could mail your check to Bern Street, or as we call it 'Not Bern Street' since the fires of 19.."

Not only did I live in Laguna Beach for the big fire back when I was in grade school, but I had family living there for the fires after I left for college. Have no idea which she was talking about but my answer...

Me: "I know, we lived on Ocean Ave"

Don't know if we did live on Ocean Ave, or if there is an Ocean ave... Really don't care, other than to let her know I have lived in the O.C. - including Laguna for a long time. She's not better than me. I hate this place...

Needless to say, I made out the check and put the envelope address zip 9266... Laguna is 9265, Newport is 9266, so I corrected it with a scratch out instead of a new envelope. Is one better than the other???

I sooooo hate this place I'm in....

How Abnormal Am I?

Try this one Mom, I dare you...

You Are 36% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Heating Up Here

"June Gloom" has come and gone early. It's hot and getting hotter. Just ask Jezebel, she's in her cool spot, under the table and ceiling fan in the dining area. There must be a good breeze despite the table...

Although I haven't read anything about it, drunk emailing must be a known occurrence. I know there is drunk calling, one thing I have trained myself not to par-take in, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. I usually end up with him ringing the door bell, which is fun for the night, but the next morning... Or I say something I really don't mean or want to do...

"I was just teasing you about 'visiting your uncle'." (The drunk caller in me thought maybe he was meeting up with a chick)

or there's...

"I'd love to do lunch this weekend, how long before you get here?" (The drunk caller was really the 'drunk-booty-call' caller) That one really sucks, especially if he doesn't show up, but still wants to meet you for lunch...

But what about the drunk emailer?

I can't tell you how many times I thought I'd email someone and didn't and was glad. Or that I did email them, read the thing from my sent folder the next day only to regret ever being able to type so well, drunk on top of it...

Recently I have read some emails that I'm convinced the persons are either drunk or dillusional. Hopefully the former.

I must admit, when I receive those kind of emails I end up deleting right away and wait for the person to approach me in human form. Although I don't like confrontation (see "100 things about myself" #69), I especially don't deal with crazy people (see "100 things about myself" #21 - oh, and when I said "aggressively confrontational" I meant crazy, just trying to be nice...)

Not sure where this will lead, but it's something I need to think about when an email from someone sounds emotional and unreasonable.

Normally I would tell all to cut them off, "they crazzee". But I really wasn't sure if RM had an Uncle there to visit. He seemed to have a relative in every city, so what if it was actually a "chicky" in ever city???? Hence that drunk call that ended it for me and him? Not sure, not sure what ended it. Must admit, if it was me at the other end of that conversation I'd #21 and be out...

On that note... What blogger worries about the drunk Blog? At least you can delete that and hope no one read it... :)

P.S. Maybe I'll actually email KAI (never done that before) and let her know that although the "100" list pissed me off because it took too long, being able to reference it is handy???

Another thang about myself: If it takes longer than my interest in "it", then it takes "weeks"... Why I hate my job...