Scientific Test Results

While running yesterday a little leaf blew into the back of my throat and without thinking I just swallowed.

As I'm jogging down the path, it dawns on me that the little leaf I just swallowed could be poisonous. Panic sets in...

Do I finish my jog? Do I call someone In case I do start foaming at the mouth and can't tell them I ate a leaf by accident?

I can see the headlines: Girl dies mysteriously. Or Girl dies Jogging. Or First Case Of Death By Leaf.

I decide to finish the jog but stop off at the park bathroom to see if I can puke it up. No such luck. Oddly, but in a good way, I can't make myself puke anymore.

After returning home I decide to call my brother. He just laughs his head off. I called another friend, she's not home. So I pack up the dogs and head to the vets for their shots.

I'm driving down the road, trying to test if I'm hallucinating. How does one test this? By waving your hand in front of your face. If you see tracers, then you are high. Hell, I see tracers now as I type this so that's no good. I decide to try to not think about the rash, bloating, stomach pump I might endure in the near future.

Being the clever leaf swallowing person I am, I manage to bring up the subject to the nurse at the dog's vet office. She laughs at me as well and says "well, you're not foaming at that mouth yet".

Great. That's it. I'm a ridiculous worry wart that is scared shittless of a leaf I consumed but managed to smoke a cigarette and have a glass (or two) of wine last night. What can I say???