Trickle Down - No Longer A Theory...

At least not in this household...

Yes, I have a major in Economics and we studied this theory. I didn't know why then, and definitely don't know why now, it is called a theory. To me, the definition of a theory (simplified) is that it is a thought, something to prove, but in my life it is reality and I could see then how logically it would be inevitable.

I got plenty of warning and have seen it slowly start raining on my parade, but I tried to keep marching. Can't march any longer...

Do I really need to mention all the 'living' costs that have gone up? That would be redundant, so I won't bother. Do I really need to mention how the job market has gone to shit and I should be happy with my 2% raise? Not to mention that I have a job? Won't bother. Do I really need to mention that my weekly medical insurance went up from 2 bucks to 6 and my prescription medical insurance went from 10 bucks to 30... OK, now you are sick and want to be me because those costs are unheard of at most companies. So I can't bitch about it...

So what do you do under these hardly considered hardships? I mean, how the hell can I be complaining?

Trying to figure it out. I think part of my problem is I'm with the wront crowd. In england it's 'classes' in America it's 'groups', 'clicks', etc...

Well you get rid of some of your 'luxury items'. I sold the convertible BMW that I loved and owned outright. But the cost to get it fixed was not feasible. OK, did that, got 1500 because it is old and broken and would have cost me more to fix it. I'm sure he'll fix it for cheaper than I could and make some bucks. Especially if he waits until 2008 and it's a 'classic' (as my mommie D says).

It would be stupid to sell my house right now unless I move away. I don't see the market falling around here for my type of house, it's unique in this area. Meaning I have a yard and people can't see in my windows without wanting to and I'm 'in Town'. Ok, so it was built in 73, but it's still standing and cute.

The house is not a luxury, but thought I'd through it in there because I know my one friend would rather I sell my house than my horse. My ultimate luxury...

My brother asked me the other day if I spent close to 10K on horse shows owning him. He made me think about it, told him I try not to and have never added it up. I'm still thinking about, haven't added it up. I CANT!!! It has made all my hard work at that company worth the time, but it's not even-ing up anymore. I gotta sell the horse. That friend that needs to help me sell him is the one that would rather I sold my house. So here I go...

I feel like I'm dealing with the gov't

For your consideration:

I can't afford to go to college to get the job to pay for medical insurance to help me be healthy, raise the heterosexual family you want me to raise and then pay you back for college so my kids can etc, etc, etc...

Not sure that is really the round I want to take, I'm sure there's many, but it's what I came up with just now. Because the selling the horse thing is related...

For your consideration:

I can't afford to show my horse, let alone the stall, vet bills, shoeing, etc... So let me sell him!!!!!

OK, there's no match other than they both suck and the people who could help you aren't.

I definitely hang out with the wrong crowd because they are far too rich for me. Oh, and the other thought I have is that the 'friend' - that is the friend that I try to save money for because I have this horse... She just helps me spend it...

On that note: GB just called to tell me what a great time they are having and how great everything is, etc,etc,... How do I feel? I feel like I'm back in college and all my friends are 'hard-core partying' - (ie, alcohol and weed don't count) - and I'm the one left out yet again because I'm a virgine and haven't done shit for drugs... peer pressure...

I hate peer pressure.

OK, enough...

Look at my perty V-Day (no VD here) flowers :)



And the note - (I know what you are thinking, but it's so my baby and I love it) -

When It Feels Like I'm Unlucky...

This is from the beginning of the week, never got around to posting. Enjoy...

I'm really starting to realize when it is I feel unlucky and it's not alwasy necessarily because I am actually without luck.

When I talk about luck right now, it's more that I'm not getting what I want at this momment.

For example, when I was 16 I thought the only thing I wanted was a drivers license and car. I didn't get the car until I was 17, lucky but unlucky. Now that I'm 37 I wish I still had people to drive me around. Not really lucky, right now...

When I was in College I looked forward to the future and a career. Now I wish I didn't have to work, but can't afford to go back to school... unlucky, unlucky????

There's others, but sure you get the point and if not stop reading.

So what is with me now?

I've always said that I helped raise by brother and don't want children. I've said I'm too selfish. But now I'm jelous and feeling unlucky because some 30+ pound woman, on the news, not only has a husband but a newborn...

I want oooonnnneee...

But not without a Daddy, a Forever Daddy, that's for sure.

I've lived without before, but hope Mr. RM works out and I'm lucky...


2-15-06

The dreaded day is over. I think that Valentine's Day is my most dreaded 'holiday'. It reminds me of going to school dances and not getting picked or not getting asked to the prom. It's right up there with New Years, probably my second dreaded 'holiday'. I don't like tons of people or crowds or the ritual of kissing someone at midnight, but yet I feel like a looser staying at home alone and kissing my dog.

This Valentine's Day (interesting the abreviation is VD?) happened to be stepping in the right direction.

I'm crazy about Mr. RM, but I'm the type of person who expects the negative so that I'm not disappointed and hugely excited when I'm not disappointed. So I expected nothing for yesterday. Don't know if this has happened to other's, but I've found that when I wish for something really hard, I get it, but from the wrong person or in the wrong context or... It's just wrong in the end.

Not to sound hootie (ie conceited, unappreciative, etc) I've received flowers from many people I didn't want. I'll never forget when it first happened. Highschool. I was a sophomore dating a junior. Broke up with him. He got a bit psycho. Months passed and I was dating another. So I'm in class and over the speaker the chick says 'Samantha Wagner, there is a delivery for you in the office'. OK, so it's usually a present when they say that and everyone in the f'ing school knows it. So you can only imagine what the class room sounded like (ooooo Sam's got a 'delivery'). Yes, it was red roses, but the card was from my Ex, not my new love. I was so discusted they went right into the trash infront of the office secretary who paged me and probably wanted them no matter who they were from. So that was my first. Sorry office secretary.

Through the years I've received this gift from some. If we are hot and heavy (ie living together, or they owe me money) I have discouraged this gift (for the latter, all gifts). Let's face it, they cost a lot of money, these flowers, and are ultimately dead, right?

So to my surprise, at my doorstep, I have roses. My first thought is that I want them to be from RM, my second thought is that they are from my mom, the sweed, etc.

The roses, 12 of them long stemmed and red, are from RM....

To RM - Sorry I didn't sent you SHIT of anything for VD, but I love you too ...

Girl Scout Cookies, Anyone?

A couple of weeks ago my friend at work asked if any of my 3 niece's were planning on selling the girl scout cookies...

No, had no idea, check out the grocery stores...

There was a man outside the grocery store tonight, but I didn't see any boxes and was happy to not see any small children with him either since I'm not sure why he had a table if he didn't have any cookies on it...

Tonight I found out my very first niece is selling cookies, but that the last day is tommorow. Not that this is a national event. Don't know what she wins/accomplishes - asked her how much the 5 boxes at 4 bucks would cost me and she said 10 - so it's definately not math camp. I just want her to win, us to win.

I have more to say but the dog is snoring, the phone was ringing, and the grammies are going to start

Do Crazy People Yell?

There's a lot of different types of crazy. We all have our own opinion of who they are and which is the scariest. Killers, suiciders, people who love the color purple - those are the obvious crazies.

Where I live, it's the bike trail/dog walking crazies.

I have two dogs, well behaved and very friendly. I understand that there are laws and rules but a lot of people break them - from really bad ones, to parking tickets, etc. Maybe I'm pushing my luck, but on this one trail I break the leash law as do many of my neighbors. We all know, we all co-no-leash the trail. I even see some people drive their dogs in to no-leash. It's a really nice area, quiet, and although I don't know the people or dogs by name I recognize them mostly. It's a very friendly, happy, "good morning" atmosphere that makes me feel good about our community and this town.

But sometimes I get my timing wrong. Sometimes I let my family experience the no-leash trail and I upset the balance of our tranquility.

There have been a few of these times. Once my mom graciously took my dogs down there and actually conversed with one of the scary no-leash trail men. Next time I was down there he asked me if I was married and would I like to go out. Thanks Mom...

Then there was a time I was running in the afternoon and this lady looked scared, which I understand because one of my dogs is big and can look scary. So I put the two on the leash until I passed her. She screamed at me for ages about my dogs not being leashed. Didn't matter that I put the leashes on and she appeared as a crazy lady screaming at someone about not leashing her leashed dogs... Oh No. The scariest part for me was that she tried to follow me home. I ran 3 miles and then walked an extra 2 to get away from the lady because hiding behind cars only made the stalker come closer. Crazy...

Today had to have been the craziest of them all... I've never seen her or her boyfriend/husband? on the trail before. Nor do I recognize the dogs, which I would know in a split second.

It was a cold morning and I had an early wake up call from my favorite person, so I had reason to postpone my jog by an hour or so. I'm at the last loop, seeing some people I recognize, some I don't, when I jog by this couple hunting for something in the mulch of the trail. Because their dogs are on leashes, I jumped up to the dirt trail. We all do that. If our dogs are unfriendly or if someone is leashed versus not leashed, we jump to the other trail - bike vs. dirt, it's all good.

So I jog by these people and my dogs are tailing because they hunt or whatever. I cross back over the path ahead of them and am jogging on the bike trail when I hear that woman yelling. I can't hear what she's saying, but mostly people yell at me because Jbel is too far back. What Jbel knows is that I loop back and she can rest. When I loop back the couple are on the bike trail, so I take my dogs across to the dirt trail so that I don't have to leash them.

Then the yeller cuts across infront of me...

Here I'm thinking she's just stupid, since I've never seen her on the trail and she obviously doesn't know the "understanding" about leashed dogs vs. not leashed, when she has a leashed dog. Needless to say the yeller starts yelling at me about my little dog crapping a ways down the path while I ran ahead.

OK. So if I wasn't so shocked I was wrong about my understanding of the situation, since I think I have it all figured out, I probably would have spoken to her differently. One of the truley gifted trates my friend G has - she always has an educated thing to say to people that surprise her... I admire her that trate...

But this woman was crazy yelling at me. Why did she have to yell? If she was mad at me why couldn't she just tell me and I'd try to fix it, fix the problem. I don't want people to not like me, that's for sure. I don't relate to yelling, tend to think that people who yells at people they don't know are serious crazy. In some neighborhoods people get shot for looking at someone the wrong way. Who the hell is this mulch digging, poop carrying, yeller and what is she thinking?

The only way I know how to deal with crazy/angry people is to wish them well and carry on... So I did...

I hope the guy she was with is O.K. Worried about the weeny that hid. Pretty sure I have his face ingraved in my mind for the next time my Mom walks that trail...

Tried to blog last night, but my connection was down...

Just wanted to say that CW called me back and was going to bring the kids to ride Frosty. That all worked out good. And we went to the park after. Hoping to see them again tomarrow. Life feels normal again...

My favorite person, RM, called me a bunch last night (and then again this morning early). I'm not expecting to hear from him for a week, although I hope I do... Sometimes I think I could make it easier for myself, but I'm in love with him so it carries on... We'll see how it goes...